
I’ve never been an alpha male. I have stubborn firm beliefs and ideas, but both my size and temperament have caused me to keep them inbound. I’ll contribute when appropriate, rarely try to force a viewpoint down anyone’s throat. Before going very far, I’ve always found it very useful to listen with concentration. That habit makes it surprisingly easy to get along with almost anyone.
Our natural tendency in this media-driven culture is “I talk, therefore I am”. Listening becomes a mere mental intake breath, unconscious and oblivious, as we formulate what we must say next. So it pleasantly surprises anyone when you actually pay attention to what they are saying and let yourself respond to that .
Such an apparently passive conversational style is often regarded as wimpy acceptance, like the apocryphal 98 pound weakling having sand kicked on him by the big bully in the comic books of my youth. I rather find it a useful sieve. Without automatic deep engagement (with me trying to be the ringmaster), I can quietly decide if continuing interaction is worth it, and if so how I want to proceed.
I often learn quite a lot, and people remain friendly. Nevertheless, I remain internally certain of most of what I have learned and absorbed. It’s almost impossible to rock my core beliefs. I just don’t care to argue. I suspect most others – bullies included – are just as adamant..
Of course, in this blog format, nobody talks back !









