Helpless

I am sure I have mostly full control over my eyelids. I have less control over going to sleep. Once I get beyond my own body, all bets are off. The world is a lot bigger and stronger than I am, other people rule many areas of it, and change makes the future truly unknowable. 

In so many ways, rationally, I am a helpless speck in time and space. Yet I do not feel helpless. Often just the opposite. It’s an awful lot like the old (useless) debate between free will and predestination. I need to live and act as if I what I do affects my life. Most of the time, I know it does. 

I suspect the main disconnect in modern life – leading to anger, stress, and withdrawal – is simply that we try to know too much about too many things. Our natural need and belief and control extends to all our fields of knowledge. Superstitiously we think we can control the roll of dice, the outcome of games, the very health and existence of the planet. 

In some ways, that is a graceful illusion. However it often leads to disappointment and bitterness. In reaction, we feel totally helpless. On the positive side, like accepting predestination, being helpless can be comforting. ”Not my fault”. 

Perhaps we should try to know less. Perhaps we should care less. Perhaps _ like the free will debate – we have no choice in the matter.